Because He Cares

He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will reward him for what he has done Proverbs 19:17

- Who Are We - Journey of Hope - My Story - Prince George

Addictions - Alateen - Bullying - Child Abuse - Christian Connections - Compassionate Friends - Counseling Agencies - Coroners Service - Court Services - Criminal Harrasment - Dare - Death and Healing - Domestic Violence - Drugs
Drug User >>The Mess You’ll Leave Behind - Family Justice - Family & Kids - Family Violence - Funeral Options - Grief Share & Care Support Resources - Grieving Healing - Health Concerns - Helpful Guidelines in Death - Keep Kids Safe - Kids Corner - Legal Aid - My Story - Peace Bonds - Police Links - RCMP Victim Services - Senior Connections - Suicide Prevention - Support Groups - Teen Connections - Victim Impact Statement - Victim Support Prince George & BC - Victim Assistance Information - Youth Issues
Please see my Subject Index for many Resources

Grief Share & Care Support Resources

This picture of an empty swing reminds me, what my Sister said after she
lost two children, two years apart both at age 17, one from Cancer and one in a car accident.
She said there always will be two empty chairs in her home.
A few years after her Son's death, my Sister died overdosing on alcohol.
Doors of Hope - is in memory of my late sister Audrey. For many years she dedicated her life to Compassionate Friends after the loss of her two sons. She gave hope to many families, who grieved due to the loss of their children. Although this site seems to deal primarily with the troubled side of life, it is my hope that those who have, or are going through difficult times will find a measure of true hope and healing.
Compassionate Friends
Supporting Family When A Child Dies

The Compassionate Friends is an international, voluntary, self-help organization
offering friendship, understanding, grief education and hope for the future to families who have suffered the death of a child of any age, from any cause.
Our purpose is to aid in the positive reconciliation of grief and foster the physical and emotional health of bereaved parents and their surviving children and to help others be supportive. And share the pain as well as the joy,
Share the anger as well as the peace, - Share the faith as well as the doubts,
and help each other to grieve as well as to grow - We need not walk alone - We are the compassionate friends

The Compassionate Friends of Canada. Inc.
#4 – 69 Campbell Crescent SE
Medicine Hat, Alberta
T1B 1J7
Toll Free: 1 866 823 0141

web site:

Compassionate Friends provides Some of the GREATEST SERVICES EVER
From my personal Experience as a RCMP Victim Service Volunteer
As well my Sister started the chapter in Abbotsford of Compassionate Friends
She experienced the death of two of her children and died herself in 1992

More Links
No One Told Me About Vacations
Men and Grief
The Bereaved Parent
Recommendations for a Grieving Family System
Anger and the Grieving Process



Image Source: Thinkstock

You did enough. I know you may not believe this now, but it’s true.

The next few weeks will inevitably be filled with a relentless stream of questions. Should I have been more involved? Should I have been less involved? Should I have called him just one more time? Should I have left him in jail a little bit longer? Should I have hospitalized him? Should I have forced him into treatment? Should I have stopped enabling him? Should I have just left him alone?

Truth be told, you might always feel like you could have done more to save your loved one. But please hear me when I tell you that you did enough. You did way more than enough. Loving him or her, despite their addiction, was the absolute best thing you could have done, and you did that so well. You loved them deeply. You saw past their pain and the ugly ways they ran from it, and you loved them anyway. Your love never failed and that will always be enough. Your love is the reason they kept fighting. And your love for them in this moment, and in every moment forward, is the reason they are resting peacefully.

You did everything right, even though it may feel like a lifetime of wrongs. So when you’re feeling at your weakest, immersed in the sadness of grief, please remember this:

It is not your fault.
You are likely drowning in a sea of guilt right now, but believe me when I say that nothing you did or didn’t do caused your loved one to become an addict. I know it’s hard to comprehend the baffling nature of the disease, but you did not cause this and despite your best efforts, you could not have prevented this. Addicts are born with a propensity toward becoming addicted. The addiction is triggered by a combination of many factors; elements over which you have little or no control. You are not at fault. You are not to blame.

I heard it said once that guilt is anger turned inward. Do yourself a favor and let the anger out. Direct it elsewhere. You are in no way responsible for the life he lived or the way he died.

It’s okay to be angry.
You reserve the right to be angry. Losing a child (or a sister, mother, brother, father, friend) to the disease of addiction gives you a justifiable reason to be angry. But please don’t be angry at them. Believe me, they didn’t choose this life. They undoubtedly made several bad choices, but they weren’t in their right mind. The disease had warped reality so thoroughly that they weren’t seeing the world as we see it. They were seeing a perception of reality that felt threatening, and their body and mind kicked into survival mode. And while trying to protect themselves, even though outwardly, it looked like self-destruction.

Be mad, but don’t be mad at them. Be mad at the disease of addiction. Use that anger to fuel a passion for helping other addicts and their families find a way out. Your son or daughter or friend or parent did not choose to leave you — broken, hurting, and empty. They weren’t the one choosing. And their disease didn’t care about you or even them. Get angry at the disease. Seek revenge on his or her behalf by spreading awareness, hope, and shedding light on the realities of addiction. The worst thing you could do right now would be to stay silent because silence feeds the disease.

Your story is worth telling.
Addiction is a family disease. Although you might feel as if this is not your story to tell, I assure you that you are as much a part of the story as the addict. You were in it together. As much as your loved one tried to shut you out, you were still in it with them. You were probably more emotionally effected by their addiction than they were. Addicts often begin using drugs and alcohol as a way to numb their feelings and they continue using because it works. For a while, the drugs effectively numb the pain. But you didn’t have a numbing agent to turn to while your family was walking through hell. You felt the gravity of the situation. You carried the weight of his addiction. You were the one who was thinking and feeling clearly and you have a powerful story to tell.

Shame might try and stop you from telling your story. It might tell you your story isn’t worth telling because the disease won, but listen closely: Your story can and will save lives. Owning and sharing your experience is the bravest way to fight the disease. The life of your loved one mattered, and their death has the potential to matter even more. Help to make his or her story — your story — matter.

Don’t shut people out.
Despite the overwhelming presence of addiction and the rapid rise in suicide and accidental overdoses, people are extremely uncomfortable talking about addiction. Your friends don’t know how to navigate this painful time. If they are shying away, that doesn’t mean they don’t care. They are just lost. They don’t know what to say or what to do; they need your guidance. You might not even know what you need right now, but when you start to figure it out, tell them. Let your people in. Show them how to support you. If you want to talk about him, tell them that. If you want to talk about his death or his disease, talk to them. Your friends want to be there for you, they just don’t know how.

You will get through this, and the acute pain you feel right now will lessen. Their death will inevitably change you, but it doesn’t have to destroy you. Let the grief evolve you. Let your love for them propel you into a dimension of living you never knew was possible. But in the meantime, rest assured that the hearts of other families rocked by addiction are bleeding with you.

With love

A recovering addict, whose demons are the same as your loved one’s.

It hurts to lose someone.
Find help at GriefShare.
GriefShare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone.

Find a group near you
Thousands of groups meet weekly around the world. Visit or join a group at anytime. And attend as many meetings as you like.


ADULT & TEEN CHALLENGE - Abbotsford - Chilliwack & Okanagan BC

A Great organization which offers a 12 month program
Adult and Teen Challenge BC is a faith-based restoration program for men and women, ages 19 and older, who are trapped in addiction. We recognize that addiction can take numerous forms and includes, but is not limited to, drug and alcohol abuse. The program is residential in nature and is usually completed in 12 months. We have three locations across British Columbia, in Chilliwack, Okanagan, and Abbotsford (2 for men and 1 for women).
The organization of Teen Challenge originally began in 1958 on the streets of New York City. A pastor named Reverend David Wilkerson was burdened to help teens involved with gangs and drugs begin a new life in Jesus Christ. The ministry of Teen Challenge came to Vancouver in 1965, and was later re-launched as “Teen Challenge BC" in the year 2000. Since then, Adult and Teen Challenge BC has experienced tremendous growth: we have graduated hundreds of students, established three centres, and partnered with countless families, donors and churches in our communities.
Adult and Teen Challenge BC endeavours to help people become mentally sound, emotionally balanced, socially adjusted, physically well, and spiritually alive! To achieve this, we incorporate many different elements into our program, including educational training, spiritual guidance, and practical work experience.

Here is a Question & Answer page, which also shows the cost

Adult and Teen Challenge BC
Finance, Administration & Communication Office; PO Box 2095 Abbotsford STN A, BC V2T 3X8
Toll Free: 1.888.575.3930
Local: 604.575.3930
Fax: 604.575.3903

Abbotsford Women's Centre
Toll Free: 1.888.575.3930 ext. 3
Local: 604.575.3930 ext. 3
Intake: 604.575.3930 ext.303
Fax: 604.425.0665

Chilliwack Men's Centre
4166 Eckert Street, Chilliwack, BC V2R 5J6
Toll Free: 1.888.575.3930 ext. 2
Local: 604.575.3930 ext. 2
Intake: 604.575.3930 ext.207
Fax: 604.823.0139

Okanagan Men's Centre
4550 Glenmore Road, Lake Country, BC V4V 1L7
Toll Free: 1.888.575.3930 ext. 4
Local: 604.575.3930 ext. 4
Intake: 604.575.3930 ext.402
Fax: 250.766.5079


Teen Challenge is a 12 month residential care facility that helps men and women aged 18+ struggling with alcohol and drug addictions by teaching character and leadership skills through its curriculum and by encouraging students toward a more healthy lifestyle.
Within this 24-hour program students live and grow together toward healthy lives free from addictions. Separated from influences that previously triggered the need to turn to drugs or alcohol, students have the opportunity to start fresh in the company of others in the same situation. New students are able to draw strength and encouragement from other students nearing completion of the program. Lifelong friendships often develop as a result.
Going through the program in the context of a community means that students must learn positive conflict resolution skills and how to express themselves in a healthy way rather than by turning to drugs. Students break old habits and replace them with new patterns of behaviour such as learning to be respectful of others, learning to sacrifice for others, and learning to be accountable to others.
Typically students rise early and have little free time, due to a busy schedule of personal devotions, classroom time spent working through Teen Challenge curriculum, meals, counselling, work detail, job and life skills training and recreational activities.

PO Box 24010 RPO Evergreen
Calgary, AB T2Y 0J9
403.931.3501 Toll Free 1.800.856.8902

PO Box 911
Moncton, NB E1C 8N8
506.758.2377 Toll Free 1.800.965.7170

PO Box 100, Stn Main
Aurora, ON L4G 3H1
905.727.3913 Toll Free 1.877.979.7770

Lambeth Box 777
London, ON N6P 1R6
519.652.0777 Toll Free 1.888.417.7777

PO Box 20012
Sault Ste. Marie, ON P6A 6W3
705.942.7771 Toll Free 1.800.480.3153

PO Box 21111
Saskatoon, SK S7H 5N9
306.257.3325 Toll Free 1.866.876.1847


Under Development. *Referrals Only!
PO Box 8713, Station 'A', St John’s, NL A1B 3T1

The BC Bereavement Helpline (BCBH) is here for you. We are a non-profit, free, and confidential service that connects the public to grief support services within the province of BC. Whether you are looking for bereavement support groups, community events, information on BC Bereavement Day, information on how to donate or to volunteer with us you will find it here. Please call the BC Bereavement Helpline and speak with one of our caring volunteers for information on our bereavement support groups, agencies, and peer-based support.
Your call is free, confidential, and anonymous. We will help you find the most appropriate support for your specific type of loss.

Our groups are structured in such a way that participants are able to meet once a week, for six weeks. Each of our sessions begins with information about the grieving process and how it affects us physically and emotionally. Participants are invited to gather in small groups to discuss their experiences regarding the topics presented. No person is obliged to speak, and all are advised that everything shared in the sessions remains strictly confidential. We create a safe environment that allows participants to explore their shock, pain, sadness, guilt and regrets and to discover that others also share these emotions.
Our programs are facilitated by two facilitators who have received training and practical experience in the area of grief work. They come to this work because of their own losses and paths of healing, and bring their energy and compassion to help others on this journey as well.
Our Grief Support Group Programs are set up with a three-pronged approach:
To receive practical information and tools to help you cope with your loss.
A chance to connect with others who are also struggling and who ‘get it’.
A process-oriented approach that includes week-to-week practices (Heart-work) to help you with your healing journey.
Our programs are non-religious and open to those who have experienced the death of a significant person.
The fee for our program is $150.00 which includes all your materials and light refreshments. This money goes toward the expenses incurred to offer this program as we do not receive public funding.
An Intake/Registration Process is required in order to attend one of our Grief Support Group Programs. Our groups are anywhere from 8 – 13 participants. We close the group after the first session and do not allow drop-ins. We do this in order to promote an environment of safety, trust and consistency.

Provides counselling for those who have lost someone to suicide. Suicide bereavement services are available to all BC residents.
Please Call 604.675.3985

Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention Centre of BC
The Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention Centre of BC (Crisis Centre) is a non-profit, volunteer organization committed to helping people help themselves and others deal with crisis.
The Crisis Centre has been providing emotional support to youth, adults and seniors in distress since 1969. As a safe place to turn when there seems to be no hope, the Crisis Centre is operated by 425+ frontline volunteers and a small team of professional staff who support and empower individuals to see their own strengths and options, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We work at the community level to provide education and training aimed at fostering resiliency and building capacity to respond to crisis and suicide.
In 2016, the Crisis Centre impacted more than 102,000 lives across BC through its three core services:
24/7 Distress Phone Services
Operating four regional crisis lines, two 1-800-SUICIDE lines and two Mental Health Support Lines which are connected to a network of crisis lines across BC as well as a dedicated Seniors’ Distress Line. The provincial 1-800-SUICIDE lines and Mental Health Support Lines are available in over 140 languages using a language service.
Online Distress Services (,
Provide youth and adults with an opportunity to talk openly yet confidentially when in distress, or crisis, seek emotional support, and locate referral services in their community.
Community Learning and Engagement
Education and training that fosters resiliency and builds the capacity to respond to crisis and suicide in our communities. Includes programming for community members and service providers (training), youth and older adults. Service providers and community members from all over BC attend our training programs.
Greater Vancouver • 604-872-3311
Howe Sound & Sunshine Coast • 1-866-661-3311
TTY • 1-866-872-0113
The Seniors' Distress Line • 604-872-1234
Mental Health Support • 310-6789
1-800-SUICIDE • 1-800-784-2433

Please note that these are Professional Counselors and the Cost is on their website



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